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Watch Out for the Swindling Waiter
Some of them will squeeze money out of you I have immense respect for people in the service industry. Waiters are hard-working people and greatly underappreciated. Think of all the worst people you’ve met in your life, now think about the fact that waiters have to answer their every beck and call. Then those assholes probably don’t even tip. But one time, I found a waiter that would be impervious to all of that. And that’s because that slick motherfucker could talk you into anything. I was in Louisiana on a work assignment, and I was looking for a good meal. I didn’t have much to look forward to on those…
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Is the Pope Trying To Become a Queer Icon?
Because he’s really missing the mark There is little I admire more than personal growth. It’s not easy to look yourself in the mirror and acknowledge that you’ve been wrong about something your entire life. And taking it a step further and actually doing something is even harder. But pretending to change so it seems like you changed is not a good look, and what the pope is doing is really fucking weird. It seems like the pope is trying to become something of a queer icon. Just a month ago he was telling us all about how down with trans people he was. And today I learned that he’s apparently…
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Wait…Does the Catholic Church Support Trans People Now?
I’m as stunned as you are Have you ever heard news so surprising it made you question everything you thought you knew about the world? Well, that’s what I heard today, and it came to us courtesy of the Catholic Church. But for once, this was actually good news. For once, the Catholic Church did the right thing — publicly support trans people. Now, typically, when you see a headline featuring the words “Catholic Church” and “trans”, you’d probably assume it was bad news. And based on everything that institution has ever done, that would be fair. If you’re one of the lucky few who’s blissfully unaware of the rocky relationship between the…
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I Don’t Give a S**t if You Say Fuck
There’s way fucking shittier things to say The way we police the word “fuck” is f**king stupid. Every day, people lose their goddamn minds over all the fun words like shit, fuck, and pussy. Meanwhile, people are given a complete green light to espouse coded bigotry, so long as the words they use are “family friendly.” All of these phrases are hurtful and work to diminish the plight of marginalized groups. They invalidate people’s experiences and make them feel like outsiders. Speaking from personal experience as a gay person, I have found plenty of groups who made me feel unwelcome with their words. The number of times I have heard the…
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A Traumatic Brain Injury Made Me Love Writing
My concussion inspired my writing journey and improved my ability to think critically and introspectively I love writing. Writing helps me contextualize, organize my thoughts, and understand and process my emotions. And most importantly, writing has given me a creative outlet to bring joy to my life. But I would have never started if I hadn’t gotten a traumatic brain injury. Before I go any further, you should know that I grew up playing football. From elementary school until my junior year of college, football was one of the biggest parts of my life. Between practice, strength training, meetings, and games, it was a massive time commitment and was my…
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My Complicated Relationship With the Comments Section
Seeing your comments sends me on a wild journey The comments section has honestly been great to me. It’s been full of thoughtful and occasionally funny responses to the works that I’ve put a lot of effort into. But opening your comments still terrifies me. I know it’s irrational, and I know the comments are going to be overwhelmingly positive, but the thought of that one negative comment is just a lot to take. And, again, I know it’s irrational and the logical part of my brain can recognize that someone not liking my blog post isn’t a big deal. But this is a department that I’ve found my inner…
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The Bears Did Something Competent For Once
The Bears getting Montez Sweat actually made sense The Chicago Bears have become almost famously incompetent over the past several years. Losing season after losing season, fired coach after fired coach, the Bears just consistently suck. And at this point, I tend to expect them to do the incompetent thing every chance they get. But this time, they did it. They did the right thing. The Chicago Bears traded for Montez sweat and it was actually the right thing to do. But this decision has been met with some hate. And I understand where people are coming from. They currently suck. For the second consecutive year, they’re likely to be…
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Ron DeSantis Wearing Lifts Is the Scandal We Need Right Now
Joy can come from even the most unexpected of sources The world can be a dark, depressing place. It can be easy to lose hope and your general zest for life. I know I often find myself not feeling particularly zesty. But sometimes, something in life happens that makes you feel good. Sometimes, the thing that makes you more nervous about the future of the world than almost anything else will bring you pure, blissful joy. And on this day, I owe this rush of joy to none other than Ron DeSantis and his lifts that rocked America. Now, I don’t typically keep up very well with the actual specifics…
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Don’t You Leave Me!
The Hoffman Chronicles: Episode 2 Why do my humans always leave me? I love them more than life itself. When we’re together it’s endless snuggles and cuddles and occasional table scraps. My life, nay, OUR life, is impeccable. I know we’re all one big, happy family. Yet they constantly leave me. They always come back, but I just wish that I didn’t have to worry about them coming back in the first place. The world is such a big, scary place that’s full of big, scary noises that are inevitably going to kill us all. The noises, my god, those fucking noises. I used to be more comfortable with them leaving,…
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Gay Birds Give Me a Reason To Live
Homosexual geese fill me with gay pride Being gay has been a constant struggle. Everyday I live with the societally imposed feeling that who I am is wrong. I even find myself doubting the validity of who I fundamentally am. I grapple with the feeling that what I am is unnatural and that the way I’m living will inevitably leave me feeling unfulfilled. But in these moments, the one thing that always makes me feel better is thinking about gay birds. To take a step back, recently I found this really interesting article that talked about queer animals out in the wild, and the one thing from that piece that really…
