The Hoffman Chronicles: Episode 2 Why do my humans always leave me? I love them more than life itself. When we’re together it’s endless snuggles and cuddles and occasional table scraps. My life, nay, OUR life, is impeccable. I know we’re all one big, happy family. Yet they constantly leave me. They always come back, but I just wish that I didn’t have to worry about them coming back in the first place. The world is such a big, scary place that’s full of big, scary noises that are inevitably going to kill us all. The noises, my god, those fucking noises. I used to be more comfortable with them leaving,…