• Waiter
    Blog

    Watch Out for the Swindling Waiter

    Some of them will squeeze money out of you I have immense respect for people in the service industry. Waiters are hard-working people and greatly underappreciated. Think of all the worst people you’ve met in your life, now think about the fact that waiters have to answer their every beck and call. Then those assholes probably don’t even tip. But one time, I found a waiter that would be impervious to all of that. And that’s because that slick motherfucker could talk you into anything. I was in Louisiana on a work assignment, and I was looking for a good meal. I didn’t have much to look forward to on those…

  • Hoffman Chronicles

    Don’t You Leave Me!

    The Hoffman Chronicles: Episode 2 Why do my humans always leave me? I love them more than life itself. When we’re together it’s endless snuggles and cuddles and occasional table scraps. My life, nay, OUR life, is impeccable. I know we’re all one big, happy family. Yet they constantly leave me. They always come back, but I just wish that I didn’t have to worry about them coming back in the first place. The world is such a big, scary place that’s full of big, scary noises that are inevitably going to kill us all. The noises, my god, those fucking noises. I used to be more comfortable with them leaving,…

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