Becoming a Gay Stereotype Feels Amazing

Being flamboyant is fabulous

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I’m becoming more of a gay stereotype by the day. My walk is getting sassier, I sometimes notice a little extra limpness in my wrist, and I unironically say things like, “Girl, you are looking glamorous right now.” I even bought my first skirt a week ago.

But the gayest thing about me may be how much I love the song Dance the Night by Dua Lipa.

It’s a fun, fabulous ditty that fills me up with joy, and it makes me want to sing and dance my fruity little heart out. Or, if I may quote the woman herself, it makes me want to “Dance the night away.”

I listen to the song A LOT. I hadn’t even heard of it until I saw the Barbie movie a couple months ago, and it’s already my tenth most played song of the year.

And I assure you, this is a sharp left turn from what I had been listening to.

It’s definitely fair to characterize my past listening habits as “incredibly straight”. There wasn’t a single flamboyant beat to be found on my phone. There was nothing that would make you say, “Slay, you fabulous king!”

And I have found that joy I’ve experienced from these fabulous tracks has only increased as I’ve grown more comfortable with my gayness.

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I hadn’t even realized what a massive queen I was until about 2 months ago, and I certainly hadn’t begun to accept myself. I always used to wear neutral-colored clothing and listen to grunge, alternative rock, and some occasional soul music.

And that’s not to say I don’t still like a number of my old things. I still like my old clothes and I still think I look good in them. And I still like all those songs I’ve grown to love over the years. I can always rock out to Everlong by the Foo Fighters, and you can still catch me listening to (almost) anything by Chris Cornell.

But as I’ve grown more comfortable with myself, I’ve found myself becoming increasingly fond of pretty colors and dancing flamboyantly.

Sometimes when I’m stressed at work, I’ll step into the hall outside my office, crank some Dua Lipa, and dance, dance the stress away. While I’m dancing and confidently lip-syncing about 85 percent of the words correctly, my head could be hurting but you won’t see it on my face.

I spend a lot of my time presenting myself to fit other people’s expectations. But when I’m dancing off-beat and lip-syncing the wrong words to those glorious tunes, I just feel joy.

There’s a level of comfort and validation that I get from letting that pride flag fly. Because even if I’m by myself while I’m dancing my heart out, I’ve suppressed who I was for so long that it’s nice to even be seen by myself.

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So yeah, being a stereotype can be really great. But I don’t think these stereotypical traits should be limited to the gays.

I think everyone, straight men, in particular, should embrace things traditionally associated with gay men.

My straight bros need to know that, yes, it’s okay to order a fruity cocktail with an umbrella in it. Yes, it’s okay to want to wear bright, pretty clothes. And yes, it’s okay to flamboyantly dance to music that makes you feel fabulous.

None of these things “make you gay.” None of these things require any justification. And none of these things need to be framed as a joke. You can love all of these delightful things without feeling like you’re less of a man.

So join me in embracing a little flamboyance, because living like a stereotype can be fabulous.

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